Say It Out Loud
The phone call forced me to say it out loud.
It had been just under the surface, nagging at the fringes. I wasn't sure exactly what it was. Subconciously, I had been thinking it for awhile, but didn't dare speak it. I would be misunderstood. Or maybe I just didn't want to acknowledge it, give it credence, and admit that I must be some kind of freak.
A woman I greatly admire and respect, think of frequently but rarely see, sensed my distress. I wish she lived next door. We would sit on the porch in our pajamas every morning and have coffee and cigarettes. We'd share a dixie version of the ya-ya sisterhood. From my perspective, she and I share a sort of kinship I haven't had in 20 years, but one that I miss. She makes me think.
I had ignored her emails, thinking that I would respond tonight, tomorrow, in a few days. The phone call took me by surprise, but looking back I should have expected it. Her inquiry as to my well-being was sincere. The initial pleasantries overwith, it came bubbling forth. Suddenly, it was acknowledged.
My only child, of whom I am immensely proud, has gone away to college and I don't miss her.
It had been just under the surface, nagging at the fringes. I wasn't sure exactly what it was. Subconciously, I had been thinking it for awhile, but didn't dare speak it. I would be misunderstood. Or maybe I just didn't want to acknowledge it, give it credence, and admit that I must be some kind of freak.
A woman I greatly admire and respect, think of frequently but rarely see, sensed my distress. I wish she lived next door. We would sit on the porch in our pajamas every morning and have coffee and cigarettes. We'd share a dixie version of the ya-ya sisterhood. From my perspective, she and I share a sort of kinship I haven't had in 20 years, but one that I miss. She makes me think.
I had ignored her emails, thinking that I would respond tonight, tomorrow, in a few days. The phone call took me by surprise, but looking back I should have expected it. Her inquiry as to my well-being was sincere. The initial pleasantries overwith, it came bubbling forth. Suddenly, it was acknowledged.
My only child, of whom I am immensely proud, has gone away to college and I don't miss her.
posted by Ellie at 4:04 AM
1 Comments:
I guess I would expect this from someone who had done such a grand job. Now it is your turn...the greatest novelist of all time...a world class poker champion...a beautiful woman who bellows out inspiring song from the stage at some great venue...what the fuck ever. Just promise me, my friend, that you will write about it so I can read it.
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